Your Emotional Superpower
How do we unhook from emotional baggage when there's a part of us deep down inside that isn't really sure it's possible? That doubts whether or not we can ever really, truly get to the other side of all this emotional angst?
If you've ever felt stuck in your emotional patterns, cycling through the same anxieties, the same frustrations, the same self-doubt, this post is for you. Because I want to introduce you to one of the most important emotional tools in your toolkit.
Your emotional superpower. And it is compassionate curiosity.
What Is Compassionate Curiosity?
When we are truly curious, we cannot be attached to a particular outcome.
Curiosity can curb fear, kill pride, and cultivate creativity. And when we foster curiosity layered with compassion for ourselves, we can learn to treat all parts of us with tenderness, love, and openness.
And this is the way forward to true emotional intelligence.
How Compassionate Curiosity Works in Real Life
If you're experiencing anxiety, fear, or self-doubt:
Stepping into a compassionately curious state will calm that fear and anxiety because you're signaling to your mind, "Hey, I'm safe enough to explore this." Which can slow things down and start to create some emotional distance.
And that allows you to gently look at: Okay, so what's really going on here? Why am I feeling this way? What does this anxious part of me need right now?
If you're struggling with anger or frustration or agitation:
Pausing and allowing yourself to explore that anger and frustration is going to immediately dial things back.
It's going to create a little bit of emotional distance for you to recognize that, "Hey, yeah, it makes a lot of sense to be pretty upset about this right now. I'm allowed to feel this way."
Or to recognize, "Wow, okay, I just got a little triggered here. Let me explore what got poked and why."
Why This Tool Is So Powerful
Being compassionately curious sparks creativity. It can help shine a light on our blind spots. Curiosity helps us transition from being emotionally stuck to gently moving forward towards re-centering.
Compassionate curiosity, the more we use this tool, helps us hit pause on the stories often playing on autopilot in our heads, and it gives us the opportunity to choose another story—a healthier and more accurate story.
Try This: A Compassionate Curiosity Exercise
Here's your invitation for this week. Let's gently explore some of those emotional stuck points.
What you'll need:
A notebook and pen
A few uninterrupted moments
A comfortable, quiet space
(If you're reading this while in a busy environment, bookmark this and come back when you can give yourself this gift of focused time.)
The Exercise
Get comfy. Take a few nice, slow, deep breaths in. And out.
And again, deep breath in. And out.
And leaning into a place of compassionate curiosity, where there is no right or wrong answer, where we're allowing space for whatever wants and needs to surface...
I'm curious:
When you think about emotional mastery—about experiencing emotions without being hijacked by them, establishing emotional nimbleness, navigating all the twists and turns of life with confidence and resilience—what's your initial reaction?
Does it feel believable to you?
Or was there a part that showed up with a lot of doubt and uncertainty?
Remember that there truly are no right or wrong answers here. The key is no filtering. Just allowing whatever wants to show up to show up. There's no shame or blame or judgment.
If you heard those descriptors and there was a lot of excitement:
"Yep, I'm totally on board with this, please show me the steps, let's do this!"
Take a moment to honor that excitement and energy and know that the steps are on the way.
If you heard those descriptors and you felt some doubt or frustration or uncertainty:
Thoughts around, "Hmm, I don't know if that's ever going to be true for me. This sounds a little too good to be true, and I'm kind of skeptical about the whole thing."
Whatever thoughts surfaced, just let them linger for a moment. They are welcome here, too.
Going Deeper
And then, let's gently lean in with some compassionate curiosity:
What is the story behind those thoughts?
Where does that story come from?
Who gave it to you?
Because it came from somewhere. Where is that messaging coming from?
And it might be coming from a few different places. It might be partly from your family of origin. It might be from a teacher. From a former partner. From past experiences where you tried to work on your inner world, only to "fail."
The more clarity we can gain on where these stories originated, the more data we have to build a different path forward.
A Powerful Reframe
And I'm also curious, how does it feel to hear these words:
That is no longer your story to carry.
Just let that really sink in for a moment….that is no longer your story to carry.
How does that land? What feels like it wants to shift? What feels like it’s maybe a little stubborn and resistant to a new narrative?
Again, there are no wrong answers. We’re just collecting some data.
And bringing awareness to what’s often the subconscious story at play.
Because these stories we tell ourselves—about what's possible, about who we are, about what we deserve—those stories shape everything.
But when we approach them with compassionate curiosity instead of harsh judgment, we create space for something new to emerge.
Pacing is important, so let’s pause here for now.
And if you want immediate action steps, click here to see where you are right now across the 4 pillars of emotional mastery and get your personalized next steps.
I am grateful for you, and I'm grateful for sharing this moment with you here today.
As always, I'm cheering for you.
— Dr. Maria
